So, instead of fielding 100 questions from all of you I am simply going to address them here.
What: Shane and I are no longer a couple
Why: Over the past month or so we were addressing some tough topics that brought up more things from way back before we even started dating. Once he thought them over more thoroughly he decided that I would be better off with someone who accepts me for who I am from the beginning, instead of trying to change me to fit his mold.
Do I want to discuss any more details: No. If I did I would contact you personally.
Is God Still In Control: Yes, but the cry of my heart right now is that I don't understand. I know I don't need to understand everything God does and how He leads, if I did then I could be god (and that would end badly!), I'm just struggling to see any good in this right now. I know right now a lot of it is just raw emotion and fighting to maintain perspective as life just seems to go on, and that will ease as time passes.
What I Ask For: Prayer and understanding. Prayer for peace and wisdom. Prayer for a calm and quiet heart. Understanding from my friends that I may be a little emotional and a little absent right now.
A dear friend shared Psalms 121 with me last night, and it encouraged my heart. I love the Psalms anyways since David is so raw with his emotions, it lets me know that it is really ok to just be honest with God with how I feel. Annyways, I'm gonna share the chapter with you.
Psalms 121 - "I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever."