Monday, August 12, 2013

Life Is Not What I Thought It Was...

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

    Change, lots of change, can happen in a very short amount of time. Such has been the story of my life over the last 6 years. "Life Is A Highway" by Rascal Flatts has been my theme song as I've moved from state to state as God has lead me different places. In 24 hours it will be my third anniversary of living in this beautiful state of Utah. In that time I have fallen in love with where I live, made friends, learned the fun things to do, the hole in the wall places to go, and it has started to really feel like home. But in 48 hours that could all change.

    A couple of weeks ago I lost my job due to some complicated circumstances at work. That being said, the last few weeks have been a roller coaster of trying to figure out where I am going and what I'm doing. Job application after job application in a scatter gun effect from coast to coast. The feeling of who I was being torn away, of meeting new people and having no answer when they asked what I do for a living. The repetitive motions of getting up and going for my run and then coming home to sit at the computer all day and do more applications and more searches without knowing where I'm supposed to go next. Today I described it to a friend as feeling like the compass from Pirates of the Caribbean when they didn't know what they wanted and it would just spin in circles. Through those days Psalms 23 has been at the forefront of my mind; "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul." Even without a job I have not been left wanting, I am blessed to have parents who taught me to be responsible with my money so bills have been easily covered, and living under their roof I've had food and shelter, there isn't any more I could ask for right now. The part of the verse that has stood out to me the most though is "He makes me lie down in green pastures". It isn't "He suggests I rest" or "He allows me to rest" it is "He makes me rest". Coming through the spring as a vet tech I was running thin and weary and not only were my relationships with family and friends suffering, but also my relationship with God. The forced rest of not having a job has allowed me to rejuvenate my spiritual life as well as invest more in my social life, not to mention the physical relief of not working crazy hours.

    I say all of that to ask for your prayers as some big things lie in the next couple of days. Things that could bring another drastic change into my life, one that I'm not sure if I'm ready for yet. Today I got my first call on an application I put in last week to set up a phone interview for Wednesday afternoon. The interview is for a position in Mississippi State University's College of Veterinary Medicine Teaching Hospital in their equine department. It would be a major step forward in my career as well as put me geographically closer to a ministry that God has laid on my heart ever since I left there to move to Utah 3 years ago.

    I have no idea what may happen in the next few days, but one thing I have been learning is the importance of praising God in every step of the process. He knows what He is doing, and for that I am very grateful.

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes


  1. Well said! Always remember, that even when life feels like its spiraling out of control and you thing the walls are closing in, there is always someone that is looking over your shoulder to help guide your way.

    There are 2 songs which always help me through tough times when I am struggling. Both songs coincidently are by 12 Stones, first is "Broken" and the other is "The Way I Feel."

  2. know how we would feel about this!! You know you would have a vacation spot and a second home just three hours away!!!! Love you sweetie and can't wait to hear what God does next.

  3. Katie, It is encouraging that you seek God's strength through this challenging time. Your perspective that He is giving you rest and the ability to rejuvenate your spiritual side is incredible. May God guide you in the next step. Prayers are coming your way.