For the past two or so weeks I have been having a very hard time getting to sleep at night. I would go to bed just to lay there for hours and hours on end feeling royally miserable inside, I would eventually put on a movie or a favorite tv show until I fell asleep from pure exhaustion... so I wasn't sleeping until about 1am and then getting up at 6:15 to get ready for work, and I was turning into a walking zombie. All that said, two nights ago I was laying in bed browsing through the "holiday classics" (none of which I had ever heard of) on netflix and came across "The Nuttiest Nutcracker". Just a short way into the movie a nut starts singing this song about having faith in Christmas, but the only time that phrase is even mentioned is once, then the rest of the song is just about having faith and believing.
All it takes is a little faith, to see the world in a wondrous way,
Open up your heart and say you believe
and you will see the most miraculous things
No need to worry, let your troubles go
Lose your fears and let the laughter flow
Open up your heart and let your spirit free
Anything can happen when you believe
I thought it was kinda neat. Then later in the movie when the princess is locked in the rat's dungeon there is a song about not giving up hope. It's supposed to be the prince singing to the princess, but that is never actually stated.
Don't think that you're alone when your heart is empty and you're far from home.
Just reach out your hand,
I will hold you, help you stand,
feel the love that's all around, God's love showering down.
Calm me childish, but I was in tears by the end of that song. Between the first song and the second one, it tapped the misery I had been harboring inside and in just a couple minutes of saying "ok Lord" and letting myself rest in His love, I felt at peace on the inside like I hadn't in a long time. For the past 2 nights I have fallen asleep as soon as I have gone to bed, and tonight I'll sleep in my own bed for the first time since Shane left, so first time in a month. Do I know what is gonna happen next? No. Do I know when I will see Shane again? Nope. But instead of just seeing the "not knowing" in things, the world has taken on a different view of miraculous things, and it is beautiful because God really does work in wondrous ways.
Merry Christmas Everybody!