I know this may seem like an odd set of lyrics for a "Christian Girl" to title a blog post with, but it's where I am at right now. As I write this I am surrounded by my brother and his fiance, watching "Say Yes To The Dress" re-runs, gearing up for a bridal show tomorrow, enjoying a Smirnoff Ice and trying not to fall apart.
The last few days have been a challenge with several things. I called into the air force base veterinary clinic to be told that the position I was really hoping and praying for has been filled already... and I didn't even get an interview. The stress from not being able to pay bills, or simply be able to go out for coffee was something I was greatly looking forward to being free from. At this point I am back to considering the possibility of heading back out of state, even if it is just temporary, to find something that will provide some form of stability.
The lack of an occupation hasn't been the only thing weighing heavy on my mind as of late. As many of you have been inquiring I do not feel that it is inappropriate to include this in my blog. For the past several months I have been corresponding with a young man that I met through working with Sermon On The Mount. He is currently a first year apprentice with Miracle Mountain Ranch and came out to visit and meet the family for a day or two last week. Just a few days ago we decided it would be best to put the proverbial brakes on in our relationship until he is further along in the program and we've gotten to know each other more as friends.
The dilemma in both situations is what my flesh wants verses what God wants and what my heart knows it right.
Philippians 2:3-8 - Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.