We're supposed to dream big right? It isn't just something we tell little kids so that they think beyond being the cart guy at Wal-Mart for "what I wanna be when I grow up", right? What happens when you dream big and reach those dreams? Where do you go from there? It's like an Olympian aiming for gold, or someone who wins the lottery, once you have it all, then what do you do?
Those are all questions I have been pondering as of late. For years my dreams were to be a vet tech, to compete at the world show, to be an apprentice and Lew Sterrett's stallion handler.With the passing of those goals the past 6 months have been ones of feeling like I'm just shooting in the dark. For my whole life I always knew what I wanted to do next and even had a general timeline I wanted to accomplish those things in.
For several months now it has seemed that every time I set out to try and accomplish any form of new goal that it was continually blocked, but as always, God is faithful. A week and a half ago was the Utah Horse Trainer's Challenge Kickoff at the Golden Spike Arena here in Ogden Utah. The way the challenge works is that multiple trainers from around the state compete in horsemanship, reining, and freestyle classes. At the end of the preliminary competition 4 finalists are chosen and draw for an unbroke 2 year old that they have to catch out of the pen (which is very amusing to watch). Each finalist takes their 2 year old home and has 2 months to train them before returning to the Utah Horse Expo and compete again for the title. I would like to compete in the challenge next year or the year after so I figured attending would give me a good idea of what the expectations are. What I didn't know was that the champion from the past 2 years, Marty Simper, was judging the kickoff event. Not only was Marty judging, but to my pleasant surprise so was Dr. Sam Hendrix from Mountain Horse Medical Center in Park City Utah.
At the end of the event, and after building up enough guts, I approached Marty about riding with him and Dr. Hendrix about a job. After speaking with both of them I was told to call back in a week or so. Well, it has been over a week, so my biggest task this morning was working up the courage to call. I'm very glad that I did :)
The upcoming week is going to be very busy! I'm riding with Marty on Wednesday morning. Thursday and Friday I have working interviews at Dr. Hendrix's clinic. Being able to ride with one of the best all around trainers in the state and work with the only board certified equine surgeon (well, he's taking his boards next week) in the state of Utah are opportunities that only God could orchestrate.
I am a dreamer, and I always have been. The dreams I see ahead of me now is competing in the trainer's challenge next year, and beginning my own string of show horses. Neither of these are going to happen instantly, but now there is opportunity. Also, working in the clinic here in Park City would provide everything necessary to obtain my vet tech specialty in equine. All of that said, next week will determine a lot of what my future here in Utah looks like.
I'm nervous about my interviews at the clinic because of my lack of experience in equine surgery beyond the simple things that any farm animal vet can accomplish. I ask for prayer for next week. Prayer for peace, prayer for calm of spirit, prayer for clear thinking when working with the veterinarians, and prayer for provision of transportation should I get the job.
Anywho, hopefully that made some sort of sense. Right now I'm so excited and there is so much running through my mind that I don't know if it even makes sense to me! Praising God's never ending faithfulness - Kate :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Beside My Brothers and My Sisters I Will Proudly Take A Stand...
Whom shall I fear? There is no one who can affect me outside of my Father’s will. Whom shall I dread? There is no one who can hurt me without my Father’s permission.
Psalms 27:1-3, 13, 14
John 12:24
2 Corinthians 10:4
My enemies stumble and fall, a thousand fall at my side and ten thousand at my right hand, but it will not approach me. I shall be confident in the goodness of God and wait for His leading. Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint. This means I must be moving forward and doing the work in my Father’s battlefields or else I wouldn’t be losing strength in the first place. By the power of God I can run upon a troop and leap over a wall. He makes my feet like hinds feet and sets me upon the high places.
I am not in this battle alone, but am surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. I have responsibilities to the others I interact with. I cannot cause one to stumble and fall because of my own selfishness or carelessness. These fellow warriors are there to not only keep us accountable in our relationships with others, but also our relationship with Christ. I am called to carry other’s burdens when one is fallen or injured, but they are also there for me if I will humble myself and accept it. As a servant of God I am to do nothing out of selfish ambition, but to have the same mindset of Christ in serving others. I no longer need to act as a selfish child because I have the capacity to love and give as Christ did, even if it means being injured myself.
Unless even a corn of wheat falls into the ground and dies it is fruitless, but when I die to myself and give up my life for Christ I will bear much fruit. I will suffer at my post for a little while, but my God, who called me to Himself, will confirm, strengthen, and establish me. He will mend that which was broken. This doesn’t mean I will get a break, but that He will replenish my strength as I go and as necessary. Just as He renewed the oil in the widow’s pots, He will pour out of me even when I feel completely empty as long as I am willing to rest in His power and NOT my own.
Psalms 27:1-3, 13, 14 Psalms 18
1 Peter 5:10
John 12:24
Psalms 91
Philippians 1:27-30
Hebrews 1:12
Galatians 6:2
Isaiah 40:29-31
1 Corinthians 8:12-13
1 Peter 5:10
Friday, January 7, 2011
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere...
I know this may seem like an odd set of lyrics for a "Christian Girl" to title a blog post with, but it's where I am at right now. As I write this I am surrounded by my brother and his fiance, watching "Say Yes To The Dress" re-runs, gearing up for a bridal show tomorrow, enjoying a Smirnoff Ice and trying not to fall apart.
The last few days have been a challenge with several things. I called into the air force base veterinary clinic to be told that the position I was really hoping and praying for has been filled already... and I didn't even get an interview. The stress from not being able to pay bills, or simply be able to go out for coffee was something I was greatly looking forward to being free from. At this point I am back to considering the possibility of heading back out of state, even if it is just temporary, to find something that will provide some form of stability.
The lack of an occupation hasn't been the only thing weighing heavy on my mind as of late. As many of you have been inquiring I do not feel that it is inappropriate to include this in my blog. For the past several months I have been corresponding with a young man that I met through working with Sermon On The Mount. He is currently a first year apprentice with Miracle Mountain Ranch and came out to visit and meet the family for a day or two last week. Just a few days ago we decided it would be best to put the proverbial brakes on in our relationship until he is further along in the program and we've gotten to know each other more as friends.
The dilemma in both situations is what my flesh wants verses what God wants and what my heart knows it right.
Philippians 2:3-8 - Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
The last few days have been a challenge with several things. I called into the air force base veterinary clinic to be told that the position I was really hoping and praying for has been filled already... and I didn't even get an interview. The stress from not being able to pay bills, or simply be able to go out for coffee was something I was greatly looking forward to being free from. At this point I am back to considering the possibility of heading back out of state, even if it is just temporary, to find something that will provide some form of stability.
The lack of an occupation hasn't been the only thing weighing heavy on my mind as of late. As many of you have been inquiring I do not feel that it is inappropriate to include this in my blog. For the past several months I have been corresponding with a young man that I met through working with Sermon On The Mount. He is currently a first year apprentice with Miracle Mountain Ranch and came out to visit and meet the family for a day or two last week. Just a few days ago we decided it would be best to put the proverbial brakes on in our relationship until he is further along in the program and we've gotten to know each other more as friends.
The dilemma in both situations is what my flesh wants verses what God wants and what my heart knows it right.
Philippians 2:3-8 - Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Here's My Heart, O Take And Seal It, Seal It For Thy Courts Above...
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| The 3 of us together for the first time in 3 years |
As the holiday season is upon us I have been blessed to have my entire family here for Thanksgiving over the past week. My brother and his girlfriend arrived from NY about 2 weeks ago and the day my sister, her husband, and my adorable little niece arrived was the first time in 3 years that all 3 of us siblings have been in the same place together. It was wonderful to have both of my siblings, and their families, around the table and was my first Thanksgiving home since I left for the apprentice program back in 2008. Through all the joy, laughter, wedding preparations for Sammi, and adjusting to this new family dynamic of having 8 instead of 5 one thing kept nagging at me, a feeling of discontentment, a feeling that something was missing because I didn't have that extra someone to share the holiday with. I know none of the comments made over the week everyone was here were intentional, but I took each one personally. Comments like "we'll send everyone out in couples for pictures" and the fact that I was the only one who didn't have someone to sit next to at Thanksgiving dinner. But in my quiet moments alone reading, or enjoying singing my way through an old hymnal, I've been hearing my Heavenly Lover speaking to me clearer than ever before.
The best way to describe how I've been feeling lately is a hunger I can't fulfill, an ache I can't heal, and a void I can't fill. A longing to know a young man and be loved and wanted by him like my sister and her husband, or my brother and his girl, that I must patiently sit and wait to be fulfilled in God's timing, however long that may be. Recently I have been reading my battle worn copy of Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot. During her struggle of waiting for Jim she wrote this quote in her journal, it's originally from S.D. Gordon's Quiet Talks On Prayer and goes like this; "Steadfastness, that is holding on; patience, that is holding back; expectancy, that is holding the face up; obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do; listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear." There isn't one character quality there that I haven't been struggling with immensely lately.
Through this struggle I have to see a "snowflake" on the horizon in a beautiful picture I have never imagined before, the picture of what it means to "hunger and thirst after God". I should have this same ache and longing to spend time with my Creator, Abba, and Lord. Matthew 5:6 says "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Paired with Psalms 107:9 "He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness." I have a new promise to stand on. A promise that I've known for a long time, but one that never had "flesh on it" so to speak. My wandering heart, looking for fulfillment in a relationship with a young man, a human relationship that will never truly fill my soul, needs to be bound to my God with a hunger and longing for Him.
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it; seal it for they courts above.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow...
As the first snow fell on the mountains this past week it challenged me to remember a lesson God showed me back during my first year as an apprentice. A lesson of faith, a challenge to remember... and I want to share it with you.
2/14/09 - 4:30pm - Miracle Mountain Ranch Missions - Teen Conference
It was the 4th hour of trail rides I was wrangling for the weekend, I was cold, and just plain mechanical at my job right about now, all I could think of was a hot shower and sleep. I was lead wrangler for one of the two strings and I wanted to be joyful because the bunkhouse currently on my string happened to be the one I was assistant counselor for, but it was trying my patience.
As we were riding along I was just chatting with the young lady behind me when we came into a clearing in the woods. As we meandered through the snow was lightly dusting off the trees and as the sun came out and hit the falling snow it lit up the flakes like glitter falling from the sky. When the snow landed on my carhartt I couldn't help but notice all of the perfect, tiny snowflakes, and then it hit me.
The night before Matt Cox had spoke on "How Great is Our God" in chapel and used the stars as an example. Stars that are so huge in relation to earth and how it would take millions and billions of earths to fill some of them, and how God breathed them all into existence. This came into a new light as I watched the snowflakes. Each tiny, unique, perfect one was created by the same God. Even though they are here for just an instant and then gone, He tenderly created each one for our enjoyment and His glory.
What I came to realize that cold February afternoon is that God works in many mysterious ways. He will work in the big things and show His huge power like He does in the stars, and He will also work in the little things, like the snowflakes, that slowly build up to make a huge impact.
Looking back at that event in my life I am challenged to "remember the snowflakes". The more subtle of the workings of the hand of God in my life. When the Lord would do miraculous works in the lives of the Israelites He would follow with the challenge to remember and pass it on to the future generations as a reminder of His faithfulness and love for His people. The same applies for us and Christians now. As I look back over this past year I see His hand working in that I could have easily been killed twice and was spared, the immense opportunities to work with people that not only challenged me, but loved and nurtured me through one of the hardest years of my life, God's provision for my bills from my accidents, time to recover as well as develop a deeper understanding of God's will for my life, and a lot of incredibly wonderful friends I made along the way, just to name a few.
Some of these things aren't huge "wow!" moments, but they are the workings of God, and you and me both will miss them unless we intentionally look for them, and remember.
It was the 4th hour of trail rides I was wrangling for the weekend, I was cold, and just plain mechanical at my job right about now, all I could think of was a hot shower and sleep. I was lead wrangler for one of the two strings and I wanted to be joyful because the bunkhouse currently on my string happened to be the one I was assistant counselor for, but it was trying my patience.
As we were riding along I was just chatting with the young lady behind me when we came into a clearing in the woods. As we meandered through the snow was lightly dusting off the trees and as the sun came out and hit the falling snow it lit up the flakes like glitter falling from the sky. When the snow landed on my carhartt I couldn't help but notice all of the perfect, tiny snowflakes, and then it hit me.
The night before Matt Cox had spoke on "How Great is Our God" in chapel and used the stars as an example. Stars that are so huge in relation to earth and how it would take millions and billions of earths to fill some of them, and how God breathed them all into existence. This came into a new light as I watched the snowflakes. Each tiny, unique, perfect one was created by the same God. Even though they are here for just an instant and then gone, He tenderly created each one for our enjoyment and His glory.
What I came to realize that cold February afternoon is that God works in many mysterious ways. He will work in the big things and show His huge power like He does in the stars, and He will also work in the little things, like the snowflakes, that slowly build up to make a huge impact.
Looking back at that event in my life I am challenged to "remember the snowflakes". The more subtle of the workings of the hand of God in my life. When the Lord would do miraculous works in the lives of the Israelites He would follow with the challenge to remember and pass it on to the future generations as a reminder of His faithfulness and love for His people. The same applies for us and Christians now. As I look back over this past year I see His hand working in that I could have easily been killed twice and was spared, the immense opportunities to work with people that not only challenged me, but loved and nurtured me through one of the hardest years of my life, God's provision for my bills from my accidents, time to recover as well as develop a deeper understanding of God's will for my life, and a lot of incredibly wonderful friends I made along the way, just to name a few.
Some of these things aren't huge "wow!" moments, but they are the workings of God, and you and me both will miss them unless we intentionally look for them, and remember.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Life Is A Highway, I Wanna Ride It All Night Long...
It's hard to believe that as I sit down to write this I am in my 5th new room in the past 3 years. This past weekend we moved into our new house and the transition has gone very smoothly. Our new house feels more like home to me than the previous one, which is probably due to the fact that I actually have my own room and am no longer living out of my suitcases. It's crazy to look back and see all the different places and experiences I have been through in the past 3 years.
As I was unpacking boxes in my new "domain" and discovering forgotten treasures it brought tears to my eyes because I dearly miss my friends and what I do. As boxes of trophies and awards were opened it reminded me of how passionate I have always been about riding and doing my very best, and how easy it is to be discontent in current circumstances. Pictures of me and my horse, my friends from the barn I worked at, 4-H medals, all momentos of what was, now it's trying to rest in God for what is to come.
At the moment I am still unemployed. It has been a long process of "we're not hiring right now" or "we picked someone else". But, God willing, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I received a call from Broadview University over the weekend about putting in an application for a position as an adjunct professor in their Vet Tech program. With my license from Florida I fit the criteria and am hoping and praying that this door will open. The opportunity would be incredible!
The biggest struggle right now is being content in where I am at on this highway. It feels like driving down I90 needing to eat something and having to be happy with a granola bar even though I know there is something better out there somewhere, I'm just not to it yet. Through it all God has been using this time of granola bars instead of steak as a time for me to spend un-distracted time with Him. Kind of like the 18 hours I had to get to know the crew that drove from PA to MS with me in August of 2009. There was a purpose for the trip, but the conversation and time spent getting to know each other not only made the time pass faster, but brought us closer together so that when we got there we had a relationship to stand on when times got rough.
Overall this "highway" has been a literal and metaphorical one. When we moved from NY to FL in 2007 I thought it was going to kill me. It was hard to be away from lifetime friends, but God blessed me with a job I could have only dreamed about. When I left for PA in 2008 it was hard to say goodbye to my family, and the trials that came while I was away had me on the verge of giving up and going home, but God carried me through and developed a much deeper faith in me. Leaving my adopted family in PA and going to MS in 2009 was agonizing. The not knowing what was going to be expected, the immense trials we endured, at times it was truly miserable. Looking back at it now, I wouldn't change a thing, I'm glad it wasn't easy (not saying I would do it again mind you). In all of the hard times it grew strong, deep relationships between us apprentices and the Heavenly Father we were clinging to. Those 5 are some of the closest friends I will ever have. Leaving MS to come "home" to UT has probably been the hardest transition so far simply because it is full of unkowns... but I know when I look back I will see the blessings because my God is faithful :)
How big is your God?
Sunday, October 3, 2010
You Make Me Dance Like A Fool, Forget How To Breathe...
Well all, it has been a while since I have taken the time to update y'all, so here it is.
Since my last post we have found a new house! It is just about a tenth of a mile down the road from where we currently live and much bigger. Now, when my siblings and their peeps come for Thanksgiving we will have plenty of space. This is a HUGE answer to prayer as the house we are currently in hardly has enough space for the three of us, much less for the five of us plus a few extras. The fact that we are even able to rent this house is a major God thing! It happens to be owned by friends of my parents that were PCAd to Texas and we became aware that they were willing to rent the house through a mutual friend. Within two days we had made a deal with them and started making plans to move. The official date that we are in the new house is October 15th, but we have been slowly moving stuff day by day down the road.
Throughout all of the job searches and applications and paperwork I finally heard back from the hospitals that handled my injuries when I shattered my nose back in April. I had applied for charity care to help cover the bills since I have been unemployed and both hospitals have decided to cover my expenses in full! That is about $20,000 worth of medical expenses. God has been so good in simply having our family here and providing good jobs for both of my parents and now I am starting to see some of the blessings myself.
With all that said, I thank all of you for the prayers for me and my family. Things aren't completely smooth sailing as I am still unemployed, but God has been showing Himself very faithful.
Since my last post we have found a new house! It is just about a tenth of a mile down the road from where we currently live and much bigger. Now, when my siblings and their peeps come for Thanksgiving we will have plenty of space. This is a HUGE answer to prayer as the house we are currently in hardly has enough space for the three of us, much less for the five of us plus a few extras. The fact that we are even able to rent this house is a major God thing! It happens to be owned by friends of my parents that were PCAd to Texas and we became aware that they were willing to rent the house through a mutual friend. Within two days we had made a deal with them and started making plans to move. The official date that we are in the new house is October 15th, but we have been slowly moving stuff day by day down the road.
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| North Fork Park |
With all that said, I thank all of you for the prayers for me and my family. Things aren't completely smooth sailing as I am still unemployed, but God has been showing Himself very faithful.
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