Through All These Cities And All These Towns...

It seems like every time I feel settled somewhere it is time to move again. As I sit here too write and process what has happened over the past couple of weeks my room is full of rubbermaid bins that are in some stage of being packed once again. It hasn't sunk in yet that I am really moving again. 5 moves, 5 states, in 7.5 years.

A little back history: I have been job hunting for I don't know how long, and have put in over 70 inquiries or applications in 7 states. Over the past couple of weeks I had a series of interviews and working interviews at several places: A dog kennel, an after hours animal er clinic, and lastly a small animal clinic in Oregon. The original job posting for the Oregon clinic was for a receptionist, so I applied to it as a foot in the door type job and didn't think much of it past that. The Animal ER was the job I wanted at the time, and that interview had gone very well. The day I received an offer from the ER, and was about to accept the offer, Blue Sky called from Oregon with a new offer for a full time technician with higher pay and benefits than the ER. They wanted me to come in for an interview the following Monday (mind you this was Thursday afternoon, November 6th). When they had called 2 weeks previous I was just going in for surgery to get my wisdom tooth pulled, but we had discussed me going up on the 10th to interview for the receptionist position... after receiving the offer from the ER I had planned on turning down the interview, until they called and said they needed a technician as well. While on the phone with the office manager she mentioned my previous working with Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and that it really caught her attention because there are several Christians on staff. During my interview we even talked about what church she and her husband attend in Bend, it was really cool. So, long story shortened, I drove to Bend on Saturday the 8th, interviewed the 10th, accepted their offer on the 12th, and my first day of work is December 1st.

I leave to spend Thanksgiving in Reno with Aaron and his family a week from today, we will be swinging back through Utah on our way back to Oregon to pick up my stuff, so I have a week from now to get packed. The last couple of weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. Excited about the new job, crying to be leaving my family, pumped up about getting to learn a new town, sad because here finally feels like home, thrilled to be moving to the same town as Aaron and his family, crying because I am leaving my friends... etc etc etc. Over this time God has given me several passages that I have found rest and security in, even through the tears (heck I am crying as I write this).

Back on the 4th, so days before I heard from Blue Sky, I read a quote a mentor of mine shared that said "Passion gives focus - An understanding of your purpose and mission." and it has helped with sorting through these decisions. My primary passion is to honor God, followed by my passion for the people in my life, then my career. Taking the job at the Animal ER I would have been working nights and basically have had very little interaction with those around me, and especially Aaron, and it had the potential to cause separation in relationships instead of promoting healthy relationships with my family and friends. The position at Blue Sky I will be working days, be able to have a "normal" dating relationship with Aaron, and still be able to talk to my family and friends regularly. On the same day I was contemplating that quote I found myself reading in 1 Peter 5:6-10, "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on alert. Your adversary the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." Looking at this move I can say that God has prepared (perfected) me for the responsibility of living on my own and taking care of my own place, as well as prepared my heart to put my all into this new job, even though it is small animal instead of equine. He confirmed it in my heart through His word and through the testimony of many others. I can't even number the people who have contacted me saying they are praying and that this is where God wants me to go. Right now I know it is His strength and not mine that is keeping my feet moving, there are points in the packing process that I just want to curl up and cry because moving away from home is just plain hard. His strength will carry me through this transition over the next weeks and months, and His promise to establish me where I am headed is a light at the end of this job search tunnel that has taken almost 18 months.

As I opened my journal this morning I was greeted by Psalms 128:1-2 at the top of the page, "How happy is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways! You will surely eat what your hands have worked for. You will be happy, and it will go well for you." It brought tears afresh this morning, but not tears of grief over leaving, but tears of peace and joy that I can stand on His promises.

Time to dig into the packing... I wish I had a magic wand so my stuff would pack itself! After so many moves I can almost do this in my sleep... There is more road ahead, another city, another place to honor God and impact lives for Christ. Bring it on!

Indescribable...

So, tonight I had a "God moment" in the bathroom at Chik-Fil-A... but before I get there let me fill you in a little.

Over the last couple of months I have been back on the job search trail. Somewhere around 75 resumes cold sent or applications filled out to date, 7 or 8 interviews, several simple "not hiring" responses, hours and hours of work put in so far. The interview that stands out the most is a phone interview with Oregon State University about a month ago. It is the first time I interviewed with a university teaching hospital and was very excited about the prospect of being able to work in a university environment. This morning I got my official "we didn't choose you" email from Oregon State just hours after getting home from a working interview at a doggie daycare for a kennel worker style position. The feeling of being insufficient to work in my field and only be able to work in a boarding/daycare facility had me very down. If you ever want to feel depressed try to find a job in a limited field, it will do it to you in a hurry.

So, with that history from this morning... this afternoon my dad got home from work and mentioned going to go look at a snowmobile trailer and asked if I wanted to go along. I jumped on the opportunity to get out of the house and we hopped in my truck and headed the 1 hour drive south to look at (and subsequently buy) the trailer. On the way home dad had the idea to stop at Chik-Fil-A for dinner. I was game since it was almost 7:00 and we hadn't eaten before we left. Once at Chik-Fil-A I ordered my dinner (with a sweet tea of course!) and went to use the restroom. While in the restroom I noticed the music playing in the restaurant and paused to listen, it was an instrumental version on Chris Tomlin's song "Indescribable". As I stood there I sang along in my head and just began to cry. Tears of surrender, peace, and just brokenness before God, right there in the Chik-Fil-A bathroom.

The God that placed the stars in the sky, and created this world that proclaims His glory, that He cares for even the smallest of creatures, is in control of my life. I am not insignificant in His eyes, and He in His indescribable love and power and authority, knows every detail of what my story is, and loves me even though He knows the darkest corners of my heart. He loves me even when I doubt Him, and worry instead, and when I feel worthless, even though He died for me! Wow!

God moments can happen anywhere... even in a Chik-Fil-A bathroom.

All I Have is What God Gives...

At My First FCA Promotional Event in April

Dear Friends and Family,

Many changes have happened at Utah FCA this summer, and I am writing to update you on the situation.

From our director:

“I am announcing my resignation as FCA Utah Director effective August 2014. The last two years of ministry have been very successful in helping athletes and coaches pursue God in Utah. However, as the ministry side has grown, it has been challenging raising funds and therefore I am stepping down as director. I would hope and pray that you’re financial support would continue, so we can continue the work we have started. I pray that Utah FCA and God’s Kingdom will move forward.”
Blessings, Bill Schorr

As for myself, after several weeks of prayer and seeking the counsel of others I am writing to announce my intention to resign from the position of Utah Field Staff. As I wrestled with this decision the Lord placed Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 " There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." upon my heart. With much prayer, thought, and Godly counsel I was still unsure as to which season I was supposed to be in in my life; whether to continue on, or to step into a new season. Today He gave me an answer through Psalms 117:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchmen keep awake in vain.". I can't force FCA to flourish here, I can't force the support to come in or for the people to appear to sponsor huddles, and I can't argue with God about staying on staff.

I feel it is important for you to know that I had been wrestling with this decision before Bill had even mentioned the possibility of his resignation. I do not see my leaving as "throwing in the towel" or giving up, but following God's leading into the many changes that have happened in my life this summer. I have been blessed to be a part of the ministry for the short time I was able, and I will continue to support the vision and mission of FCA not only as a community member, but an athlete myself.

Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement, and financial support over these last several months. I ask for your continued prayer as I step into whatever God has in store for me next.

Time Is Ticking Away...

4 years, 4 years of what you may ask, 4 years of being a resident of Utah. So far nothing outside of simply living in the same state has lasted that long. 3 houses, 3 jobs, friends have come and gone, and so far the only thing that has remained the same is that I am still here. When I stepped off the plane shortly before midnight on August 13th 2010 I had no idea what my future would hold, and as I sit here now I face the same dilemma. The only thing I know is happening 100% is my next race in September, but even now my ankle is wrapped in tape and buried under a bag of ice.

Today it has been easy for me to feel like a failure, a failure at my sport, a failure at my career, a failure as a daughter, a failure as a girlfriend, just generally feel like I am not good at anything today. After over a year of basically being unemployed, minus odd jobs and the few hours I have the support to work for FCA, I am facing the decision of applying for part time jobs at places like Applebee's or the local ranch supply store. With the dedication and hard work I have always put into my career that feels like a huge failure to me, even though it may be just for a time until a position opens up somewhere. I feel like I have failed my parents as a daughter due to some poor decisions and there are days I would rather be anywhere else other than home, and many nights I cry myself to sleep. I feel like I have been a terrible girlfriend, the stress of everything else going on has had my emotions running high without much left to give on some days, but I couldn't be more thankful for the young man I'm dating. Even on my most miserable days he has been nothing short of loving and supportive.

Sitting here, right now, it would be so easy to just tell myself I don't care anymore and do whatever felt good. There have been days I have wanted to just pack my truck and leave to get away from it all, just start somewhere new. But, I know that running away from problems doesn't fix anything.

At FCA Sports Camp back in June the week's topic was being All In and centered around Colossians 3:17 "Whatever you do in word or deed, do ALL IN the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." During staff training one of the huddle leader coordinators shared a list of how God sees us, instead of how man sees us or how the devil wants us to see ourselves.

I Am:

Beloved: Jeremiah 31:3

Child Of God: 1 John 3:1

Delighted In: Zephaniah 3:17

Forgiven: 1 Peter 2:24

Washed Clean: Isaiah 1:18

Free: Galatians 5:1

Co-Heirs With Christ: Romans 8:17

Righteous: 2 Corinthians 5:21

New: 2 Corinthians 5:17

Set Apart: 1 Peter 2:9

Saints: 1 Corinthians 6:11

Masterpiece: Ephesians 2:10

Wonderfully Made: Psalms 139:14

Bold: 2 Corinthians 3:12

Whole: Colossians 2:10

Without these truths I couldn't ever be All In, I wouldn't be able to because it would be of my own strength and power. But, even when I feel like a rotten miserable failure, God's word is there to remind me that I am so much more than that in His eyes. I still don't know what tomorrow may bring, and I'm sure I will have plenty of days where I feel like I can't do a darn thing right, but as long as I can keep my life in His perspective it will all be ok. My time here in Utah may be limited, I don't know where I will end up next, so for the meantime I am going to do my best to be All In here, and wherever you are in life right now be all there.

The Bear Necessities, The Simple Bare Necessities...

Proverbs 30:8-9 "Keep deception and lies far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is my portion, that I may not be full and deny You and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or that I not be in want and steal, and profane the name of my God."

This verse has been on my mind a lot lately. I've been on staff with Utah Fellowship of Christian Athletes since April 1st, and it has been quite a transition to working for a non-profit organization.  

This year we are celebrating our 60th anniversary as an association. We have an active chapter in every state in the USA as well as 11 different countries. Even with how well the organization has been established we have only had a chapter in Utah for a year and a half. Utah's population is less than 4% Bible believing Christians with the predominating religion being Mormon (LDS). In the year and a half we have had 47 athletes and 2 coaches come to Christ through our huddles at the 3 major northern Utah universities and our brand new regional Highschool and Jr high huddle.
 
Through God's leading I came on staff with FCA Utah back in April. My job is a combination of Field Staff and Marketing and Communications. Right now our staff as a state consists of me and our state director. As Field Staff I am over our Northern Utah region of over 30 high schools and Jr highs. We are currently doing a regional huddle with these athletes every couple of weeks so that I can train them how to run a huddle and help them through the process of finding campus sponsors and getting started at their schools.

One of our biggest struggles as a state chapter is that there are so few Christians in this state, and that every nonprofit is trying to pull from the same group of people. FCA is a 501(c)3 so all of our funding is mission support based. As a state we are only around 77% and my personal support is only sitting around 23%. My personal support covers: my salary, my travel to and from schools, Bibles and resources for the huddles, as well as misc expenses. It's like running your own small business basically, and I can't work beyond what I have in the account.

So right now we are trying to get the word out to people about the situation here in Utah. Right now I'm facing the decision of having to get my support to 50% or better or I can't continue to stay on staff because I can't even put gas in my car. God is moving here in Utah, but without the support of other Christians the workers will remain few.

As we work through the process of trying to raise funds for the ministry of FCA and "Impacting the world for Christ through the influence of coaches and athletes." the verse above has been my prayer. Many nights have been spent in tears of frustration over finances and the desires in my heart to be financially independent and able to support myself. At the risk of sounding desperate I ask you to please pray about financially supporting the ministry of Fellowship of Christian Athletes. You can find more information on our state Donate page and more information about FCA in general at FCA.org.

Learn How To Climb...

    N.O. Limits, on first glance it looks like "NO Limits" not abbreviated "North Ogden Limits". For me this start line means a lot of things. The first time I crossed this start line was April 27th 2013, it was my first 5k, I had been running just a month. Coming into the finish line I was glad I survived, much less made the podium!
    Now it has been almost a year and this start line means many more things to me. Now I see it more as "NO Limits", because this year, on May 3rd, I am running the Half Marathon. Now, I've run a half marathon already, so the distance isn't necessarily the milestone, but what it has taken to train for this one. The route for this race is full of massive hills, over 500ft uphill climb between kilometer 2 and kilometer 7, 4.5 miles of rocky trails. When I first signed up for this race all my friends, runners and non-runners, told me I was crazy because of the route difficulty, and at the time I agreed! I simply wanted to do it as a milestone of having been racing a year. I have been working on running hills once a week every week since the beginning of February, and after 10 weeks of training I have learned not only new things about running and training, but new things about myself.
     1) Hills are HARD! The first week I stared up the "one mile hill" that is only 2.5km into the race route I thought I was gonna die. Heading up the hill, gaining about 250ft in elevation, I had to walk several times. That day was just a short 8k, so when I got to the top I turned around and ran back down it as I headed back to the car. That day almost did me in mentally, I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard.
    2) Hills get EASIER with consistent practice. After two weeks of going to run parts of the route (adding a km in length each week) I made it up the first hill without walking! It wasn't anything fast, but I did it!
    3) Unexpected hills can be demoralizing. About 5 weeks in I switched from out and backs to loops since my distance was getting long enough to allow it. The first week I did a loop I made it up the first hill strong, headed past where I normally turn around, and was suddenly faced with a second HUGE uphill (another 250ft climb) that I wasn't ready for. It zapped me mentally, which killed my run.
    4) Knowing what's coming and being prepared for it is the best way to handle hills. After the demoralizing week I knew what was ahead and started carrying extra GU gel, water, and mentally knew what I was facing, and it has gotten way easier.
    5) Consistent work and preparation take you from not being able to go up 1 hill, to being able to handle a course with several massive hills. This route has 3, and after today I can say I am prepared for them.

Now, I've learned a lot about training and running and getting stronger on my runs, but it also has taught me a lot about handling the hard stuff in life. "Hills" in life usually are some form of trial, but can also be something as simple as allowing myself to fall into a trap of not hearing God's voice and listening to Satan's lies. Just as I have to have discipline in my running to handle hills on a route, I also have to have discipline in my personal life to handle the trials that come.

Running - - - - - Life

Eat Healthy - - - Don't listen to or watch junk

Get Coaching - - Spend time in the presence of God and Godly people

Practice - - - - - Memorize scripture

Don't Let The Bad Runs Keep You Down - - - I have bad days, days that life gets to me, but they can't keep me down. Getting back up is the important part.

Rest Well - - - Take time when I need it to get away from life and recharge spiritually and emotionally

Be Consistent - - - Little pieces of time with God on a consistent basis keep life more stable than just mega-dosing in a crisis.

So, after 10 weeks of training, only 2.5 weeks from today is race day, N.O. Limits has really come to mean "NO Limits" for me. Not only can I do things physically I never thought, but with a right relationship with God there are no limits to how He can use my life.

Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin that so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Here Am I Lord, Send Me...

         April first, for most it is a day of practical jokes and picking fun at one another, but for myself it signifies so much more. As I was sitting on the family room floor on March 31^st, my 25^th birthday, I was doing my devotions and reflecting on the past couple of years and came to reflect on the last few birthdays. Every birthday for the last 3 years God has done something huge in my personal life. Each one leading up to this year, and it is so incredible to look back on how He has brought me to this point. For my 23^rd birthday I started a new job at an equine veterinary clinic doing what I had gone to college for and doing something I really loved. For my 24^th birthday, just a year ago, I decided to start running. To most that might not seem like much, but in July of last year I lost my job at the vet clinic, and God used running as my time alone with him away from the frustrations of dealing with being unemployed.

            Through those months of running and struggling with questioning God and asking him “why?” I learned how truly powerful it is to be able to share Christ through the avenue of sports. Last fall God taught me many things about perseverance, discipline, diligence, and dedication through my running. I would run every morning and then come home and do job applications, day in and day out. I applied for jobs all over the country, over 3 dozen applications in 15 states. As each positive response came I would pray over each job, and every time I just didn’t have a peace about taking offers that I would have otherwise jumped on. After several months of this process I came to the conclusion that God wanted me to stay here in Utah. I couldn’t explain why, I had what appeared to be no leads here, but it was the only place I had a peace.

Throughout last year I had kept up with what was going on with Utah Fellowship of Christian Athletes and when I attended the President’s Reception in November the pieces started to come together. I had the pleasure of sitting with the State Director and his wife as well as the Regional Director and after several athletes and coaches spoke and the directors gave the vision for the next year of FCA here in Utah I had a peace and excitement I could not explain. Bill Schorr, our State Director, sat back down at the end and he looked at me and all he had to say was “You ready?” and I didn’t even have to think twice, my immediate answer was “Yes”. After several months of prayer and training at the beginning of this year April first was my official start date of coming on staff with Utah FCA.

This is a huge leap of faith, we are non-profit, so all of my expenses and salary must be raised. But God is moving in so many ways. In a population of 3.9 million only 3%(ish) are Bible believing Christians. FCA launched chapters in foreign countries before coming to Utah because of how hard it is here. But, in Utah FCA’s first year (Jan 2013 – current) we have seen 46 athletes and 2 coaches accept Christ. My primary responsibility is going to be our highschool and junior high campus ministry. In the last month we have begun compiling a group of high school and junior high athletes from over a dozen schools across the area to start a Northern Utah huddle over the summer. The goal of the huddle is to lead and train these athletes to use their platforms of sport for God’s glory through FCA. Teaching them the ins and outs of FCA and Gods word, we will also prepare them to run huddles at their own schools starting this fall.  I will assist their leadership teams along the way. We also want to send 30 plus athletes to camp in Idaho this summer.

But none of this can happen without the financial support. We provide each huddle with Bible’s designed for athletes. These Bibles are full of devotions geared directly towards their needs and they use sports terms in the devotions and studies that the athletes can relate with. Not only are our supplies provided through your generous support, but so is the pay of all of our staff. If I don’t raise my support I don’t get paid and I don’t have money in the account to drive to the schools to work with the athletes. I’m asking you to pray about financially supporting the ministry of sharing Christ through sports. The harvest is ready here in Utah, but the workers are few. If you feel led to support this ministry you can by clicking this link.

If you have any questions you can contact me at 585-455-8107 or kgoers@fca.org.